November 2011
1 post
September 2011
2 posts
August 2011
0 posts
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July 2011
14 posts
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Prisoner for Jesus
If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10 NLT)
A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortuneteller shall be put to death by stoning; they have no one but themselves to blame for their death. (Leviticus 20:27 NAB)
If a man lies with a male as with a women, both of them shall be put to death for their...
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Accused of being gay, Spanish priest challenges... →
I read this and then I clutched my metaphorical pearls. Adios Mio!
Bad Joke of the Day
My friend’s really into leather and different religious views. She’s a non-denominatrix.
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“I love when people ask me about my religious beliefs. Basically, if religion is...”
– Shannon W.
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Bipolar for Jesus
If you truly followed God’s teachings via the Bible, you would be bipolar. One day you’re feeding a starved child and showing empathy towards a prostitute and the next day you’re stabbing an adulterer and having sexual relations with your sister.
The Bible has two types of followers. The genuinely goodhearted, charitable type and the mentally sick, destructive type. They have one thing in...
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Masturbating Catholic: Lady Gaga is on Tumblr AND... →
Hey Ryan,
Thanks for reading, but read the article more clearly. I did not not criticize her for using religion as shock-tactic. That’s old news. My blog was about me saying that she isn’t creative. She keeps using the same schtick over and over again and a schtick that isn’t even hers, it’s Madonna’s. She is an uncreative pastiche of something that once was. Now dont go on a big rant...
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Lady Gaga is on Tumblr AND is still "pushing...
Lady Gaggag has finally just joined the rest of the creative young world on Tumblr. She is a year behind the trend, like she is with all of her “cutting edge fashion”. Yes she is on Tumblr and has called her blog “AMEN FASHION”…because she’s clever..get it?… Like “Amen” b/c she does the whole religious mockery thing and like “Amen for Fashion!” because she’s obsessed with shopping and all....
June 2011
11 posts
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“God is not dead. He is alive and working on a much less ambitious project.”
–
-graffito (1975), quoted from Jonathon Green, The Cassell Dictionary of Cynical Quotations
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Huff Po's "Create Your Own Religion" Competition! →
Huffy Po’s running an awesome little contest over on their site for you to create your Very Own Crazy Religion!
You can be the next Jesus, the next Buddha, or even the next L. Ron Hubbard. Sign up now to create-your-own religion. You name it, write down the beliefs, rituals, and holidays. Then they post the best submissions on the site and allow you to compete for followers.
All...
Are Christians reinventing the music business? Erm...
You may have seen the late night commercials for the Tate Music Group. They ask “Are you tired of singing solo”. Sidestepping any in-depth details, they appear to be some sort of independent record label - here is the commercial…
Wonder how a commercial like this gets on TV? Well an investigation into their site reveals they are of course religiously based. Which inevitably...
“All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed,...”
– Edgar Allan Poe (via the-ediesedgwick)
Colbert and Jack White CATHOLIC SHOWDOWN
Everything you need to know about being catholic…
The Colbert Report Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive
Evolution explained in a comic strip
To make things easy to the stubborn and close minded, Darryl Cunningham has put together this simple to follow comic strip. Child like misunderstanding are sometimes best described in pictures. click here for the full experience
Where have I been??
Masturbating of course. Ah but also preparing this new site for you guys and collecting a group of fabulous contributors for the site. Getting ready to be overstimulated!
Your MC,
Gv
November 2010
3 posts
Want some cute animation and bukkake for xmas? Watch this music video from The Pocket Rockettes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdqzMxO0giY
#BukkakeChristmas
Bukkake Christmas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdqzMxO0giY
June 2010
4 posts
VIDEO BANNED FROM YOUTUBE!! →
WATCH THE BANNED FUJI MINX "The Music Made Me Do... →
HOLY ORGASM, JESUS! →
Katy Perry is a Big Jesus Whore →
May 2010
4 posts
Guest Blog From The Bastard Fairies →
Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a Recovered Catholic! The... →
THE POPE LEARNS A NEW WORD!! →
HAPPY NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY!!!!!! →
April 2010
2 posts
My Easter Letter to the Catholic Church - Sexual... →
My Easter Letter to the Catholic Church - Sexual Abuse: A Worldwide Epidemic http://masturbatingcatholic.blogspot.com/
December 2009
1 post
Announcement!!! Eating for Two
“Wow. I’ve gained 4 lbs in the last week and a half. Of course that’s b/c I’m eating for two now……Me… AND The Baby Jesus!” - Greta Valenti Merry X-Mas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and whatever other bizarre rituals you humans like to celebrate. Till next year sinners! -Gv your MC
November 2009
1 post
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e-GOD! The New Millenium Way to Worship
Airing live via the web in about an hour from now is LifeChurch.tv ‘s online church ceremony. Yes, that’s correct. Church On-Line!! Wow. This does make being a Christian slightly more appealing. You mean not only do I NOT have to get up early on a Sunday, but I don’t even have to get dressed or leave my house?! I can attend church in my Pajamas or even Naked if I want! Holy Cow!...
August 2009
1 post
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Radio Gaga - The New Lows of American Censorship
So I was driving around beautiful southern California the other day, “jamming” to some free FM radio (ONLY b/c I forgot my iPod) and taking pictures of myself while driving, and I heard the song “Birthday Sex” by Jeremih. As I listened, (I had already tried the other stations, only commercials or Nickelback on) getting ready to do my in-the-car-sex-dance to the chorus, the...
July 2009
1 post
8 tags
Going out with a Bang - a sexploration of the...
OH SOOOO Many things to write about currently for the Masturbating Catholic. Where to begin? Ok lets go for the obvious one, since the title of the blog starts with masturbation…Mr. Kung Fu himself, David Carradine - AutoErotic Fatality. For those who live in caves except for to read my blog every now and again, I have some belated news. David Carradine, actor & star of the Kung Fu...
May 2009
1 post
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I can't wait for Sex with Dr. Drew!
I know I usually rant about some crazy religious or sexual practice but this time it’s personal… My two favorite things are now combining… Dr. Drew Pinsky & Sex! In his sexy tight blue dress shirt, Dr. Drew has signed on with VH1 to do a new Celebrity Rehab except this time it’s for Sex Addicts! (According to the Hollywood Reporter & Dr. Drew himself on a recent...
March 2009
2 posts
5 tags
Pope BendyDick speaks!
Well its now apparent that the Catholic Church has elected an evil dark lord as the new pope. This former “Hitler Youth”, clearly wants to start a genocide of the African people by letting them fuck each other to death, based on his comments last week. Pope Benedict XVI said on his way to Africa Tuesday: “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms, On the...
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Twitter gets sexy with Stephen Colbert on the...
Always a genius.
(Reblogged from the original MasturbatingCatholic Blog: http://masturbatingcatholic.blogspot.com)
February 2009
3 posts
4 tags
I Will Follow Him
To my fellow sinners, Enjoy!
Enough Said. xxx Gv the MC
(Reblogged from the original MasturbatingCatholic Blog: http://masturbatingcatholic.blogspot.com)
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The Virgin Whore
What happens in her vagina, stays in her vagina! So my next story is becoming the all-to-familiar tale of the young girl who wants to auction off her Virginity. Blah Blah Blah. Is a Virginity really worth anything now-a-days? Well apparently… it’s worth 3.8 million dollars!!! That’s right ladies. Your virginity can pay out better than winning the lottery! It will pay out if you...